Safeguarding & Community Standards

Building new friendships in a city as fast-paced as London is an act of courage and openness. While thecommon facilitates the introduction, the magic of connection happens in the real world. To ensure these connections remain positive, we have established the following safeguarding framework.


1. The Common Pact: Personal Responsibility & Mutual Respect

While we provide the platform, adults engaging in this service hold a personal duty of care for their own safety and the well-being of those they meet. Our community is built on a foundation of integrity, and users should be able to expect these points as an explicit agreement between them and all other participants.

  • The Standard: We explicitly expect every user to treat others with dignity, respect, and clear communication.

  • Zero Tolerance: Any user reported or known to violate these standards by way of harassment, predatory behaviour, or any form of discrimination will be permanently removed from the service.

  • The Refund Policy: In the event of a removal due to a breach of our terms, no refunds will be issued. We prioritise the safety of the collective over the membership of the individual.

Pro-Tip for London Meets: Always meet in a well-lit, public space for your first few interactions. London is full of "third spaces"—museums, busy cafes, and public squares—that offer a safe, neutral backdrop for new friendships.


2. Physical Safety & Emergency Resources

If you are in immediate danger or witness a crime during a meet-up, do not hesitate to contact the authorities.

  • Emergency Services (999): For immediate danger to life, a crime in progress, or serious injury.

  • Non-Emergency Police (101): To report a crime that has already happened or to seek non-urgent advice.

  • NHS Emergency (111): For urgent medical concerns that are not life-threatening.

  • Metropolitan Police (Online Report): For reporting incidents or suspicious behaviour in Greater London via their official portal.

  • Ask for Angela (At the Bar): Many London pubs and bars participate in this scheme. If you feel unsafe, ask staff "for Angela"; they are trained to help you exit the venue discreetly and safely.


3. Mental Health & Emotional Support

London can be a lonely place, even when you are trying to be social. If a meet-up leaves you feeling overwhelmed, or if you are struggling with the pressure of social integration, help is available.

  • NHS Mental Health: Call 111 or visit the NHS Every Mind Matters website for local London support pathways.

  • Samaritans: Call 116 123 (24/7, free). A safe, anonymous space to talk about anything that is troubling you.

  • Shout: Text SHOUT to 85258. A free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone in a crisis.

  • Good Thinking: Digital Wellbeing for London. An NHS-approved resource specifically designed for Londoners to manage anxiety, stress, and sleep.



4. Recommended Safeguarding Practices

To keep the vibe of your friendships low-risk and easy-going, consider these additional steps:

  • The Digital Trail: Before meeting someone new, tell a trusted friend where you are going, who you are meeting, and what time you expect to be home.

  • Travel Planning: Use the TfL Go app or Citymapper. Know your route home before you set off, especially if you are meeting in an unfamiliar borough. Avoid relying on a stranger for a lift home for the first several meet-ups.

  • Boundary Setting: It is perfectly "Adult" to say no. If a meeting moves toward a location or activity you aren't comfortable with, leave. You do not owe a stranger your presence if your intuition is signaling a red flag.

  • Report Concerns: If a member of thecommon makes you feel uncomfortable—even if no "crime" was committed—please report it to us at hello@thecommon.me. We rely on your feedback to keep our community high-quality and safe. Bear in mind that it may take us a moment to see this and get back to you. So please be proactive in using this resource to take any necessary measures when required, as our service is not a substitute for authorities and/or official support services.

  • Sensitive Information: Never give out your home or work address, or any other sensitive information to people you do not know or trust.

  • Alcohol & Substances: It is understandable that people who are getting to know each other will want to enjoy themselves. However, users should always approach the use alcohol and substances with care and responsibility. Remember illegal substances are illegal for good reason and thecommon does not condone the use of them. If you are with other members who may need care if things get a little out of hand, please treat them in a way you would appreciate being treated in the same scenario. Remember that it is always ok to say no, and that being intoxicated is not an excuse for breaking the expectation of the pact, our terms or the law.

  • Exit Strategy: Never feel obligated to stay. If you want to head off from a meet-up, politely let it be known and remove yourself. Be aware that you have no obligation to stick around against your best-wishes or will.

  • Cultural Differences: Be patient with others. People in London come from many parts of the city, UK, Europe, world and from different social backgrounds. The differences each of us bring is what makes it the best city in the world. These differences include varied approaches to communications, lifestyle, views and approaches to tasks. Be mindful of this, and give people space to be themselves by creating a safe and empathetic space.



5. Group Chat and Texting Etiquette

Everyone has a different approach and style when it comes to texting. This means that when there is a group of people coming together, it is important to be considerate of this to make sure that everyone is getting the most from the experience. This means we ask that you:

  • Respect the Signal-Noise Ratio: Please avoid sending many, repeated or back-back messages. Giving room to other people to speak and not overwhelming the thread is crucial to creating a welcoming and easy-going environment.

  • Communication Styles: Try and stay clear from using outwardly offensive language, phrases or insults. Some like close to the bone banter, others are not so into it. This means that we ask that you try to avoid this until you get to know each other’s boundaries and have your own private chats. Any outright aggressive, illegal, harassing or attack-style behaviour will not be tolerated and any users who bring this to the community will be removed and reported to authorities, if appropriate.

  • Mutual Privacy: Do not privately message other users without prior permission, and refrain from passing their information on to any other parties.